First of all–welcome to wordvomit.etc.
As the name suggests, this is a place where I post my thoughts, my story, and, well, my word vomit–AKA my poems and written works.
The idea of “word vomit” started in my junior year of high school, when I wrote a poem that goes like this:
Words spill from my mouth and from my pen but I swear no one is listening.
I’m screaming and scribbling but nothing seems to matter;
I am a ghost
in my own right,
stuck in a dying body that doesn’t want to live.
I
am disappearing slowly and oh, my words
don’t mean a thing.
If I could touch just one person’s soul
with the things I speak or the things that I compose on paper,
I could die happy.
Until then, I will shout
until my voice grows hoarse
and until I run
out of things to write.
I will continue, even if no one is listening
except for me.
The poem encapsulates many of my struggles in high school–the feeling that no one is listening, and that I am invisible. The feeling of being stuck and not seeing a way out. The feeling of loneliness. Of isolation. Of despair.
But, it also captures my values.
See, I found solidarity in literature. I realized that I am not alone in my struggles through poetry. I discovered a community of thoughtful souls through stories. I started making peace with my struggles and my inner demons through writing & reading.
So I started sharing my poems. My words. Like the poem says–“If I could touch just one person’s soul/with the things I speak or the things that I compose on paper/I could die happy.” While I have greater goals and higher expectations for myself now, I continue to share my story and my written work on Instagram, hoping that my work could help someone the way poetry healed me. I also post some selected pieces on my personal website, emily-yao.com, and I occasionally publish some pieces on other literary websites, such as Thought Catalog and Safe Kids Stories. But I’ve come to realize that Instagram is not the most well-organized space for literary work, and what I post on Instagram has also became more selective. I realized that I should create a space where my work is more easily accessible and more centralized.
And that’s why I’ve created this blog–to share my heart and my art with you, to share my inspirations, to share my journey, and to let you know that…you are not alone.
This is
My heart for you.